5 Ways To Get Back Into Dating That Aren’t Blind Dates

If you’ve ever been single long enough, you know what you’re potentially facing: a set-up, courtesy of that one aunt that is overly invested in the amount of childbearing years you have left, setting you up on a date with “that nice boy” from the bank or a long-ago summer camp or from his mom’s basement. No thanks. Try one of these non-sucktastic dating methods instead:

1. One of those newfangled apps all the kids are talking about.

Okay, seriously. Some of us just aren’t all that into hanging out in bars, trying not to be awkward. This is where apps come in handy. And yes, while some apps lean toward the superficial, like Tinder or Blendr (not there’s anything wrong with that), there’s more options out there if you’re looking for something a little less exhausting than a string of one-off dates with the nearest appealing match. Hinge, for example, is a lot like a set up – only you initiate contact with friends of friends (as opposed to the nearest in-vicinity stranger). Then there’s At First Sight, if you actually are thinking of something a little more serious. It works a little like those old-timey matchmaking agency videos, and was developed by the makers of The Bachelor. You can look at videos of people as they describe what they’re looking for in a partner, thereby nixing any possibility of dated photos or people who are masters at the Internet but horrible robot-monsters in real life.

2. Single Bands

Single Bands, on the other hand, feel like a secret club that allows you to relive your middle school days, in a good way. The bands come in a number of colors, and by wearing them, you signal to other wearers what your status is. There’s colors that distinguish your status (looking for friends, divorced, widowed, etc.), your orientation (gay, straight, bisexual, you get the picture), and important preferences (into religion, into politics.) This allows you to skip all of the awkward stuff that comes with clicking with someone, only to gag down the rest of dinner once you find out they lean red, while you go blue.

According to a Single Bands representative, “Single bands are a great alternative to online dating, blind dates, and things of that nature. They’re always on you, and you just feel more confident when out in public. Its like raising a flag, and letting the world know that you’re available and ready for anything. They can be looked at as an accessory, but they should be treated as so much more.”

So, like I said, secret club. It’s still way better than a blind date, and if you are technologically impaired (like me), or forgot to buy an awesome phone (like me), it’s a great way to test the dating waters.

3. Online Dating

Online dating really has lost pretty much all of the stigma that used to be attached to it. It falls right in the middle of the virtual speed date that is swiping left or right, or the tiresome night out on the town that reeks of the possibility that you’ll have to maybe do your hair. What’s kind of awesome is that you can start out with a really broad dating site, like Match.com orOKCupid, or you can narrow it down based on a number of criteria, like religion, orientation, and so forth. There’s even the newly-formed Mensa Match, which requires that users be certified geniuses, so there’s really a niche out there for everyone.

No matter what, though, you’ll have to make a profile. There’s a right and a wrong way to do that, so be prepared to spend some time on it. According to Lisa Hoehn (who’s made her living fixing the profiles of online dating hopefuls) in an interview with Business Insider, the biggest thing you have to do is, “Show, not tell”. It’s not enough to tell people how awesome you are at playing the accordion or speaking Pig Latin: “Instead of saying you’re spontaneous, talk about the time you hopped on a plane to Thailand. If you help people come to their own conclusion, it hits harder and is more memorable.”

4. Joining a meet up or group that’s out of your comfort range.

Don’t forget that the real world exists. There’s tons of stuff that you can do for fun that can also result in meeting new people. You can find something singles-oriented, or just do whatever interests you that you’ve been putting off trying (roller derby, anyone?)

This will take the pressure off because you will be so busy learning how to weave baskets underwater that if you don’t find anyone, at least you’ll come away with a new experience. You can try sites like Meetup.com and force yourself to finally learn French with some other noobs, or you can go event-centric with stuff like Eventbrite or Joinin, which will let you do things a la carte or whenever you just have some spare time, instead of making a weekly or monthly commitment.

5. Wandering around the mall with a “I’m single, let’s mingle” t-shirt on.

Because anything– seriously, anything– is better than suffering through coffee with Mortimer, the accountant from your mom’s friend’s daughter’s ex-boyfriend’s law firm again.

by Theresa Edwards