Meet mum who's proud to parade naked in front of her 13-year-old son

• Jules Pomerance says walking around naked is most natural thing
• Hopes her daughters Daisy, ten, and Lily, seven, will share her confidence
• Sexual and relationship therapists say beware 

For Jules Pomerance, walking around without a stitch on in front of her son Jordan is the most natural thing in the world.

The mother-of-three happily potters round the house in the nude, doesn’t wrap a towel around herself when she leaves the bathroom after a shower and she and husband Nigel often enjoy a naked snuggle in bed with Jordan and his sisters.

But Jordan isn’t a baby or a toddler — he’s 13.

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Jordan, 13, and Jules Pomerance, 44, enjoy nude cuddles despite experts saying she risks causing her son long-term psychological damage.

Many will find his mother’s actions unsettling and say it’s time she started covering up in front of him. Some experts even believe she risks causing long-term psychological damage to her son.

ules, from Hertfordshire, is adamant she’s doing nothing wrong. ‘I see no reason to stop as Jordan gets older,’ the 44-year-old insists.

‘Nudity has nothing whatever to do with sex as far as I’m concerned, and as our son has already reached puberty it’s not going to make any difference now. If anything, I think that “normalising” nudity is the best way of countering the over-sexualisation of our children.

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Jules runs a body painting business and says she has no inhibitions about her own body

‘Of course, if Jordan asked me to put some clothes on I would respect that. But so far he has always felt comfortable with it.

‘As a family we are frequently naked around the house, especially in the mornings when the children get into bed for a cuddle with my husband and me.’

So is Jules right? Are we nothing more than a country of prudes where even though it’s easy for boys to access graphic pornography — displaying unnaturally hairless and artificially enhanced young women’s bodies — in seconds on mobile phones and laptops, it’s frowned upon for them to see their own mothers’ naked bodies?

Is it unhealthy for boys to see their mothers undressed once they have reached puberty or, indeed, at any age? Is there a right time to cover up in front of your son?

Jules, who runs her own face and body painting business and is married to Nigel, a 45-year-old jeweller, cannot remember her own parents ever being naked in front of her — the closest she got was one holiday, when she says: ‘I remember walking into our hotel room when my father was getting dressed and him moving behind an armchair so I wouldn’t see him without his trousers on.’

She has never had any inhibitions about showing her body. Given her own upbringing, she has no idea where her relaxed attitude towards nudity comes from, but says she hopes her daughters Daisy, ten, and Lily, seven, will share her confidence.

‘I’m not a supermodel — I have a scar on my tummy from having a Caesarean with Jordan and like most mums I’ve got my fair share of stretch marks.

‘But I am happy with my own body and always have been. Nudity is very normal to me.

‘One reason I’m keen for my daughters to see me naked was because, last year, Lily started to comment that her thighs looked fat. I was horrified and wanted to show her that people come in all shapes and sizes and that no one looks like they do in fashion magazines, not even the models themselves.’

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                         With husband Nigel, 45, and their three children Lily, Daisy and Jordan

Jules also hopes that seeing her naked will help her teenage son to have a more realistic view of women’s bodies when he’s older. She says: ‘The women Jordan sees in magazines are airbrushed versions of the female form. I hope seeing the real thing will help.’

But is it possible that her behaviour might ultimately be harmful?

Scientists who have explored the subject suggest the age you start covering up may be key. One U.S. study found exposure to parental nakedness for those aged six or under had benefits when it came to their capacity for affection and intimacy as adults.

But another found that boys who saw their parents in the nude from the ages of six to 11 were more likely to have permissive attitudes towards sexuality and more sexual partners.

Sexual and relationship psychotherapist Margaret Ramage believes that given the special bond between mothers and their sons there are risks for boys who see their mothers naked after they are about eight.

‘Although there is nothing intrinsically “wrong” in nudity between family members, it can have effects we cannot predict,’ she says.

‘Neuroscientists have found there is a sexual template in the brain that begins to develop around seven or eight in a boy, and it might be inhibited by the sight of his mother’s naked body, which could possibly affect him in later life.

‘The brain has its own ways of dealing with such things, often not under our own control. As a therapist I have seen adult men who slept in their mothers’ beds in their teenage years and who later complained of a complete lack of sexual desire. Although it’s not conclusive evidence it is enough to alert one to the possible dangers.’

She adds: ‘If nudity were a totally non-sexual matter we wouldn’t be thinking about this. But in our culture, nudity is very much a sexual matter, with mystery, excitement and arousal all linked to it. Generally, it is important that children are not exposed to adult sexuality in any form.’

Jules thinks nudity has been over sexualised but says she would put her clothes on if son Jordan asked her to...

Jordan says he supports his mother’s attitude to nudity, and doesn’t feel it’s anything unnatural.

‘I honestly don’t feel at all embarrassed about seeing my mum naked. It’s not as if she just suddenly started doing it. It is just normal in our house,’ he says, adding that he wouldn’t feel comfortable seeing a friend’s mother naked.

But that’s unlikely, as Jordan admits: ‘Most of my friends’ families are not like mine.

‘If mates come over unexpectedly I wouldn’t just take them up to my room without calling out, “Is everyone decent?” first. But I think it’s good to be relaxed about nudity in the family and will probably do the same with my children when I grow up.’

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Jordan, 13, says it's good to be relaxed about nudity and he will raise his family in the same way

Sex therapist Sarah Fletcher says there are benefits for children who see their parents naked.

‘I think up until adolescence it is helpful for children to see their parents in the nude as it models a positive attitude towards their bodies,’ she says.

‘It helps prevent them growing up believing their own bodies are in some sense shameful. But in puberty I think there need to be more boundaries and respect for what they might feel is awkward or embarrassing.’

Parenting coach Judy Reith says teenage boys usually indicate when it’s time to start covering up. ‘They suddenly begin shutting doors, finding it embarrassing if their mum is wandering around naked,’ she says.

‘Adolescence is a time of huge emotional and mental turmoil. It is tough enough for today’s teens outside of home, so I would encourage mothers to be sensitive to their teenager’s reaction to nakedness. It’s a normal part of growing up.’

Mother-of-three Karen King, 44, considers herself open-minded, but stopped letting her sons see her naked when they were seven or eight.

Karen, a director of her own estate agency, who lives near Leatherhead, Surrey, with husband Ray, 57, a communications consultant, says: ‘I’ve always believed it’s important to treat nudity in a way that removes any stigma and ensures my children feel confident in their bodies. The trick is to know when a line has to be drawn in respect of their bodies and your own.’

Karen is mum to James, 20, who’s studying chemistry at Oxford University, Sarah, 18, who has just secured a place at Oxford Brookes to study psychology, and Daniel, 14. She adds: ‘Until they were seven or eight, my body, naked or otherwise, had been a source of essential comfort for my sons. After all, it had nurtured all three children through pregnancy and then breastfeeding.

‘I’ve aIways slept naked and I treasured those skin-on-skin cuddles with them when they were very small — medical experts say it encourages a close bond and feelings of security between parent and child. I’d pad around the bedroom naked in front of them, or share baths with them. They were totally at ease running about with no clothes on.’

Karen King, 44, with her son Daniel, 14. Karen decided to start covering up when Daniel's hormones kicked in at age eight.

But she says by the time James and Daniel each got to around seven or eight their hormones were starting to kick in and if a woman appeared on the TV screen in a bikini they were ‘all eyes’.

She adds: ‘With the internet, film and TV, it’s very easy for boys to find images of women naked or scantily clad so, sadly, they seem to be more sexually aware at a younger age now.

‘So when James was about eight I decided that I needed to cover up.

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Karen felt her sons knew too much about the female body as a sexual form

‘Suddenly, I felt there needed to be a demarcation between my body as their mummy and the bodies of other women as objects of desire.

‘There was a growing awareness that my sons knew too much about the female body as a sexual form and that I was their mother and needed to be in a different category.

‘I wanted to maintain a respectful perception of me as their mother.

‘So although I still sleep naked and walk round with nothing on in front of Ray, now I always grab a bathrobe before leaving the bedroom and shut the door before getting changed.

‘An added factor in covering up was the need for my sons to understand that they must respect their sister’s need for privacy about her body and all its changes as she got older, too.’

She adds: ‘Around seven and eight was also the age Daniel and James started to feel more awkward about me seeing them naked, too.

‘If Daniel catches sight of me in my bra and knickers he’s mortified and says: “Oh, Mum, cover up!”

‘While I respect other mothers who continue to be open with their nakedness in front of their sons, I think they are removing the thrill and anticipation of discovery that is part of the relationships their sons will eventually have with their future partners or wives.’

Sexual and relationship therapist Margaret Ramage agrees and thinks mothers of sons should be aware of the possible consequences of their actions. She says: ‘Once a boy reaches puberty it is much harder to know what the long-term effects of seeing his mother naked might be.’

Via  Dailymail